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Vampires
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Hm, this one isn’t that good. Good demotivational posters are Tagline – joke. Too many lines at the bottom.
Good demotivational posters are demotivational. This is just a caption with a black background.
DO NOT HAVE MULLETS
DO NOT WEAR DUSTERS
DO NOT DYE THEIR HAIR BLOND
bada bing, bada boom, swish for you. 5 internets
Still more manly then those Twilight dweebs.
I, personally, would’ve used Frank Langella as Dracula over Keifer there.
AMEN!!!
he’s not dracula he’s the vampire in The Lost Boys LMAO
… they did in the 80′s! It was a hard time for us all.
Well…there was Spike from Buffy…Technically, I suppose his was a trench coat…and he didn’t have a mullet…But he bleached his hair!
actually Spike’s hair (the character) is supposed to be naturally Blonde (they didn’t bleach hair back in the Victorian era when he was human).
Seeing as the people in the Victorian era didn’t wear leather-trenchcoats and hiking-boots or spiked up their hair using hair-gel, your argument is invalid.
Except in all Spike’s flashback scenes, he had brown hair.
A) It was the 80′s
B) He is a BADASS
C) please, go watch the movie.
Agreed, that movie KICKED @$$!
I loved that movie, but in this pic he looks more like betelgeuse when his head was shrinking.
YOU’RE SO FRIGGIN’ RIGHT!! I laughed so hard when I read this!
Jack Bauer: Tell him where the bomb is or he’ll drink from your jugular. LOL.
NZLD
-NiCad Drag Racer-
win
Awesome movie… Hottest Vampire… hands down a win!!
no, the hottest vampire of all time would have to be Alucard.
Hahaha…. love the Scrubs reference,
But isn’t it “Dr. Acula”???
“Dr. Acula” would be a Scrubs reference, but Alucard is from a lot of other movies and such starting in a 1943 movie and in many other movies, comics, games (Castlevania), and manga since then.
“Count Alucard (character), the title character in the 1943 film Son of Dracula and other works.”
agreed on the mullets, but tell the last two to Spike
Was just going to say that … he’s more gay then Cullen.
Maybe they did in the 80′s.
In any case, he and the Lost Boys crew are kick-ass vampires, as opposed to Twilight’s kiss-ass vampires.
Says someone who obviously hasn’t seen a vampire movie since Nosferatu.
OMG… Is that… Jack Bauer?
That was a joke, right?
RIGHT???
Learn the real names dumbass. He was known for MUCH greater things then the crappiness of Jack B. Its Keifer Sutherland from one of his greatest moives. Lost Boys.
Win
The whole “VAMPIRES DON’T SPARKLE!!” thing has been a bit played out for some time now.
It deserves repeating until people get it.
Most people get it. The people that haven’t got it yet, will NEVER get it.
Again…AMEN!!!
YES, yes it does…
Well umm…. Hate to ruin it for everyone because it slightly ruined it for me but they do sorta sparkle in this movie. When the frog brothers are standing next to the cliff wiping off the blood if you look closly the blood sparkles in the sunlight. Its not just a *wet sparkle* its a glitter sparkle.
Crappy effects that were unintentional are not to be compared with completely intentional full body sparkling. (I’m so ashamed of sparkling when the sun hits me) YEah because girls care about that.
“I’m not gay… or a stripper… I just have a skin disorder” would be more like it.
Crikey, I thought Vampyres actually burned, caught fire or their skin boils up when exposed to sunlight. NOT THIS SPARKLY BULLSH*T!!!
NZLD
-NiCad Drag Racer-
It wasn’t crappy effects…watch the special features…it’s completely intentional. The sparkles were to make it and I quote “sexier.” While I prefer The Lost Boys to Twilight any day, I cannot deny the facts.
yeah but its very very true… also Michael J. Fox was a better werewolf then Taylor *shark boy* Lautner
“… DRINK BLOOD . MURDER PEOPLE . AREN’T REAL : /”
You use the douche from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie) to prove this? How about the Jim Morrison look alike from the Lost Boys? Val Kilmer? Brad Pitt? Bella Lagosi?
He’s not from Buffy – he’s from Lost Boys an older and better film.
That’s Keifer Sutherland. From Lost Boys. You moron.
Meh, same thing.
No. Spike, from what little I know of the show from Buffy fans, actually was a halfway decent guy. Keifer’s character was pure evil.
he said THE MOVIE…Spike wasnt in the movie
This, exactly.
You’se the douche, Sarah. Har har har!
Funny that you suggest Lost Boys since you obviously have never seen it! Dumbass
It was his dad (Donald Sutherland) in the BTVS movie. And he was Buffy’s watcher, not a vamp. (Buffy geek and proud of it)
Woot.
That would be Bela Lugosi. He is strangely sexy with that accent and has eyes to die for… also not a sissy…
Yup, I am demotivated by this
That’s Kiefer Sutherland and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t in Buffy. Plus he’s a cool guy. Nice poster.
This IS from The Lost Boys. It’s David, played by Kiefer Sutherland.
I’ve always imagined taking a twilight vampire, hanging him from his feet upside-down, opening a skylight and using his sparkliness to create a disco ball. Spin him around. Play some disco songs.
You know, I enjoyed Twilight (the books), and that still sounds like fun. Since Robert Pattinson (spelling?) is otherwise uselss, we might as well use him. Although it would be a broody disco ball…
Stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive! Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive!
Not BtVS… yeesh. Gonna call someone out, get your facts straight. That’s Keefer Sutherland of Lost Boys.
“Gonna call someone out, get your facts straight. That’s ***Keefer*** Sutherland of Lost Boys.”
Epic fale.
“Epic fale”?
Wow, talk about a FAIL!
Nah, the guy is probably samoan, he ment to say Fale, meaning his house LOL.
NZLD
-NiCad Drag Racer-
Um, I think he did that on purpose.
Then again, this vampire got pwned by the Coreys.
this vampire got pwnd by jason patric
a friend of mine told me recently that the new moon is the story of a girl stuggling to choose between necrophilia and beastiality
nicely said XD
Indeed.
Isn’t that what all the Twilight stories are about? & By the way, I thought twilight was a time of day, not some crap movie/book series.
NZLD
-NiCad Drag Racer-
i lol’d
I hate Twilight but…. Vampires are fictional characters that can be portrayed as one may want. It’s like spelling yay! or jeeey! can be spelled how a person wants since it’s just a sound.
Vampires change through-out movies how the director or author wants them. They can be hideous or be gorgeous…etc.
Blade – They ashed
Underworld – They burned
Dracula – He burned
Van Helsing – They burned
Twilight – They sparkle
I think that the whole, vampires can be what the author/director wants is taken a little too far in Twilight. Vampires are to burn in sunlight, not sparkle. It is what makes them vampires to begin with.
Dracula didn’t burn in sunlight. He went out in the sunlight. Also, Ann Rice’s more powerful vampires don’t burn. They tan.
Uh… NO. Dracula did NOT go out in sunlight. Are you referring to that hack-job movie they made a while back? The one they named after Bram Stoker then totally DESTROYED his book? If so, fail.
Actually, yes, Dracula did go out in sunlight in Bram Stoker’s novel.
Creative license is one thing. All the Shakespearean remakes, modern spin on a classic tale, that’s creative license. Which is also stupid, but that’s just my opinion. If you’re gonna tell a story, tell an original story. If you can’t tell an original story, then go work at Burger King, where you belong. Anywho…
Completely changing or leaving out commonly acctepted “truths” so you can make it pretty and sell it to tweeny girls is something beyond creative license.
Inaccuracies aside, Twilight is the literary equivalent to Valium. Again, just my opinion.
I don’t know you. But I like you.
WIN!
Vampires aren’t just characters to be used at a writer’s whim. They’re myths. That means they have a specific set of attributes that MAKE them vampires. These attributes have been accepted as vampiric for centuries. Such as, they DIE in sunlight and they’re pure evil. Messing with that means whatever hybrid… thing… you come up with is NOT a vampire. It’s called “definition”.
NO offense but, if I write about a vampire… make him hairy all over… change his teeth up slightly… make him transform at the full moon… I’ve lost the right to call him a vampire, because he’s now a werewolf.
Same goes for twilight… they are no longer vampires… they are now f***s.
Um… you’re allowed to swear on the internet. No one’s going to take your broadband away for use of obscenities. Personally I dislike the series, but because Meyer is a poor writer, NOT because the vampires sparkle. Furthermore considering that the original vampires of eastern European myth closer resembled modern zombies with a taste for blood (sometimes they didn’t even drink blood ) rather than Dracula or Lestat… well, the “they’re not real vampires” argument falls a bit flat I feel.
I totally hate what twilight has done to the genre. Especially as Meyer is making money by ripping off Joss Whedon but vampires burning in sunlight is only an invention of the last 100years or so. Before that they had no problem going out in the day. However, sparkling, come on, really? That’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard for something that’s supposed to be a curse.
Bela Lugosi spent ages making vampires feared, as did Bram stoker. With the invention of twilight they are now turning in their graves.
I’ve got to agree, great idea, weak execution. There are much, much more brutal non-sparkly vampire pix available. A few classics include:
a) the actual dude himself, at his labours, from a contemporary woodcut: http://www.varvar.ru/arhiv/slovo/images/vlad_drakula.jpg
b) the original movie version: http://www.mad-monsters.com/Wallpapers/images/nosferatu.jpg
c) Christopher Lee: http://blogs.citypages.com/amadzine/images/Christopher_lee.jpg
and some slightly more modern versions, still sans sparkles:
http://dark.pozadia.org/images/wallpapers/lucy_westenra_1600_1200-134213.jpeg
and my personal fave, inspired by Shrek’s Nosferatu:
http://www.psychoform.com/htmlgallery/nosferatu_002.jpg
SEE USING ECHOLOCATION
SLEEP UPSIDE DOWN IN CAVES
VOMIT BLOOD INTO EACH OTHERS MOUTHS
or they are oxymoronic.
But how is this demotivational? This is just another one of the easiest, least original and most hypocritical* possible slam at something: bashing twilight. And bashing a poor defenseless girl and a high school student** just isn’t very nice.
* Hypocritical, because many of the so very common complaints about twilight is that it’s poor quality and it’s popularity is based on it’s popularity. But those very complaints are mostly due to other people stating those complaints, and their associated bashes are often poor in quality themselves.
** I actually had to use wikipedia to find out what she does other than hang out with a vampire. And from what I’ve heard of you guys, I’m proud I know so little. Ignorance is bliss, or so you give the impression.
Aren’t they supposed to sleep in coffins? Probably differs between individual vampires I guess. Anyway, since when have tehy vomited blood into eachothers mouths?
Since when have they slept upside-down in cave and used echolocation?
Not sure about ecolocation, but they sleep upside down in a cave in Lost Boys
Haha – had to use wikipedia…
what on Earsth does a hundred year old immortal have in common with a teenager?
As a “demotivational poster”, I think it does not show understanding of the concept. I see most of these as fail. Check out the “Relationships” one a couple of posts up for an example of HOW THIS IS DONE.
I would have used Lestat and said: “VAMPIRES. Its only in your very last moments of life that you realize they aren’t sparkly at all.”
There, you see? It follows the correct format, has a really EVIL vampire, and still gets in the jab at Twilight. I never get tired of the jabs at Twilight. Even my 12 year old daughter hates it.
so I heard that Robert Pattinson, now deemed sexier than Johnny Depp (who did they survey?!), was so stinky on set that he was finally sent home to bathe.
BTW, I have never watched any of the Twilight series and never will. Yay!!
i wouldnt really consider lestat evil… at least not REALLY evil
I went to my local bookstore and they had a vampire section, and not one of the books was Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I found a copy and moved it there.
Bless you, sir. Well done.
They might have been sold out. Also, the vampire section tends to be in the teen section, and Dracula doesn’t usually fit into the teen section.
Because of f**king Twilight! Apparently if it can inspire a s**thouse movie series & become a scatty teen phenomenon, your crap can too.
NZLD
-NiCad Drag Racer-
it appears as though most of you are bitter about the fact that keifer sutherland got such fame for HAVING a mullet, OR, you’re just bitter that your love of Twilight has been crushed by some random people on the internet. how do YOU know they don’t wear dusters? maybe they DID, in the 80′s, or MAYBE they even wore BOMBER JACKETS. oh noez. i think this is great. but you know, maybe they do sparkle. in bed. lol.
Edward Cullen is not a vampire.
Dio Brando is a vampire.
Enough said.
You are the best comment ever.
Will you have my babies?
If you all hate this one so much then go to (currently page six) find the one called Curves, the only good one mesofunny actually has ever made, and vote it up instead.
I love Kiefer Sutherland and hate Twilight, so this is a double win, IMO.
They don’t live in caves and have feet like bats either!
Finally someone else that doesn’t like twilight. HORRAAAH!!One of the top 10 vamp movies.
Lost Boys are awesome.
lol, oh teenagers and their fantasy’s. a little bit of realistic measure never hurt anyone though.
His head made me think of Dio Brando actually
I coulda swore it was Dio.
the head he gave you or the head with his face on it?
oh hell yes!!!
Wait now, I dont have a mullet, but I do wear a duster….I al more like a white version of blade.
HOLY SWEAR WORDS! I LOVE WHOEVER MADE THIS (not actually… But I love this freaking picture…).
But, you know, the hair kinda looks the same…
Has anyone ever seen that movie. Well let me tell you, this is a BADASS. BADASS. Go watch the lost boys and then tell me it’s a fail.
Keifer, you win.
What’s next? Romantic Zombies?
Romantic Zombies–`Sean of the Dead` after all, he kept a zombie in his garden shed…..
Shaun—
“Romantic Vampires”– Underworld
Lost Boys—great movie
Keifer–great in LB and in “Truth or Consequences, New Mexico”
John Carpenter’s Vampires with James Woods
30 Days of Night
Loved the “Peter Pan” bits of Lost Boys “The boys need a mother…..
yes they do!!!
“Have mullets”
I just can’t believe that you people are actually taking it THIS seriously as if it matters what you say and what you think. It’s just a funny poster directed toward the anit-twilight crowd. So a theological discussion about what vampires (fictional characters in the first place) are to do in the sun is simply useless.
omfg how come every time there’s a twilight related poster on here people freak out and flock to their anti and pro armies can’t you just “lol” it and move on?
I saw a bird once.
ARGUING ON THE INTERNET = PARTICIPATING IN THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS
whether you win or lose, you’re still retarded.
watching Lost Boys. epic win XD
Isn’t arguing pointlessly over people’s posts what the internet was made for?
Surely you jest, Internet was made for pr0ns :/
Y’know, I loved that movie, but now every time I watch it, I can’t help but wait for the head Vampire to ask Corey Haim if he wants to buy a Dodge.
The ones that sparkle are all Gay
Is this a real poster? Where do I get one?
I thought that just one Twilight vampire went to high school, and that there were something like ten of them.
Not completely true, if you’ve ever read Vladimir Tod, you know that vampires can go to high school.
For over a hundred years?
well i remember when they sucked blood and not d~ck
You, my good Sir, win in epic fashion.
(In David Attenborough’s Voice)
Now, I know some people are confused as to what does and does not make a vampire. Most true vampires burn in sunlight, there are daywalkers, but the ability is quite rare. And all Vampires subsist on blood. Typically human or at the very least mammalian. Shape-shifting and flying depend on the species of vampire. There are several different species and they display different facial characteristics and abilities.
Non-vampire blood drinkers include Kui-Jin, Carniverous Elves (or Unseelie), and mosquitos.
Again, while were wolves do have the ability to shape shift, not all shape-shifters are Were Wolves. There are Native American Skin Walkers, Gangrel (a vampire species), warg, lycans (possible sub-species of vampires), and yennork.
Below is video of a typical vampire feeding it its natural habitat:
Here is a typical vampire courtship ritual:
And this is the vampire asserting it’s dominence:
Notice the lack of sparkling.
I love this pic but I would because I made it next time ask I dont mind sharing