Formerly Obese Man
he was apparently eaten by this man
Submitted by: dunno source via deMotivational Builder
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Formerly Obese Man
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he’s a level 5.. DAAAMN!!
I think hes vergeing on level 6: Oh Hell No!
I think a new level should be made for him
Level 7: Run for your life
brand new level for him level 8: holy s**t run for your lives it’s godzilla, quick hide the little asian boy qawn nwaq
no no lets keep it goin, dude is huge, he’s a level 9 haha right guys, right?
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!
hahahaha. : D
Oh, this is from the Onion Movie which satirized the fact that you can reduce the number of obese people by increasing the minimal criteria for obesity.
Perhaps we can reduce the number of obese people by having them actually eat each other, as this poster suggests.
LOL!
As a fat guy I find this quite amusing.
Disclaimer: The following post is somewhat graphic and is not intended for all readers. It is furthermore purely satirical in nature and does not in any way condone human caniballism. Reader discretion is advised.
While it would be an effective method, akin to that suggested in the essay “A Modest Proposal,” there are a few problems that apply in the case of obese people hunting eachother that result in the suggestion being less applicable than it was in the aforementioned case outlined in “A Modest Proposal.”
First of all, while you reduce the number of people who are obese, you don’t reduce the average weight significantly, because of conservation of mass – if you eat something, it’s weight is added to yours until you work it off.
Secondly, I’m sure there’s a significant ethical problem with promoting caniballism of any kind. Not sure what it is, but…I’m fairly certain it exists.
Thirdly, there’s the logistical problem of getting obese people close enough together in such circumstances. We are, after all, notoriously lazy, and thus avoid work at the best of times. Hunting other obese people requires far more work than simply going to the grocery store, especially since we would then have to butcher the corpse and even discover where the best meat is cut from (something passed down from previous generations when it comes to animal butchery).
Add to that the fact that human meat likely doesn’t taste very good, and would have a fairly small amount of usable meat given the size and necessary effort in hunting humans, having not been selected and bred for taste and abnormally large and tender muscles. Many obese people are obese due to excessive enjoyment of good food, so they would likely avoid human meat for the above reasons (as well as the fact that human butchery is likely trial and error as to whether the cut is tough or tender).
Finally, there’s the avoidance issue. If anyone knew it was at all likely they would be hunted and subsequently consumed by other people, they would likely become reclusive. Even the bravest, most capable individuals can easily be rendered into corpses by suitable application of explosives and/or firearms. The only exception to this rule is Chuck Norris.
Because of these reasons, I suggest the above suggestion that obese people eat eachother is not a workable strategy. Besides, due to the law of conservation of mass, this would end up producing a smaller percentage of obese people without reducing average body weight significantly.
It was a joke…. but thanks for the essay!
did anyone read the essay
Nu-uh…
Yeah… Lol.
i read it, and it could have been shorter: reducing the number of obese people by having them actually eat each other is a bad idea.
Well written. I give it a B+.
Comments:
“Finally, there’s the avoidance issue. If anyone knew it was at all likely they would be hunted and subsequently consumed by other people, they would likely become reclusive. Even the bravest, most capable individuals can easily be rendered into corpses by suitable application of explosives and/or firearms. The only exception to this rule is Chuck Norris.”
This paragraph brings up interesting points. I can’t help but wonder though, if obese people were ONLY allowed to eat other obese people, as I believe the OP is suggesting, then the reclusiveness would be null and void. They would come out of hiding in order to hunt, therefore becoming visible prey themselves. Instead of a hunt it becomes a Gladiator like death match, or battle royale if you will.
But the fat fatties would get nommed by the smaller, faster fatties, who, after nomming, would become fatter and slower and in turn get nommed by the faster fatties. This guy would probably be dead before the contest even finished getting declared
Friggan awesome
hehe. faster fatties, like that exists
Can you write some speeches for me?
Too long, did not read
think that’s long, once i saw a comment that filled the entire screen, TWICE!
did you read it?
It was too fat to read, he ate it.
You are taking this a wee bit seriously, so I give you a serious answer..
Animals are not bred to be delicious. They’re bred to produce more meat because the demands are high and they taste awesome (like almost every other creature on the planet).
I’m pretty sure humans too taste awesome. Just trust me
And hunting for humans is just as easy as getting a one-night stand.
Probably taste like cheeseburgers. Why do you think cats eyeball you the way they do?
clearly not: no mass conservation here, we live in a homestasic state (as adult) so most of the biomass eated is discarded (eg: s**t, transpiration). So if obese eat eachothers: less obeses people, but heavier obese
Theres my homework assignment thanx dude
too long
did not read
tl;dr
chuck norris as ALLWAYS the exception.
tl;dr
too long… didn’t read
seriously?
“Because of these reasons, I suggest the above suggestion that obese people eat eachother is not a workable strategy. Besides, due to the law of conservation of mass, this would end up producing a smaller percentage of obese people without reducing average body weight significantly.”
Suggestion: obese people should eat eachother so we have less obese people
your comment: this wouldn’t work because instead of having more obese people, there would be a reduced amount of obese people, but they would be mega obese.
logic flaw
there’s less obese people. good try though.
No. There are fewer obese people; they remaining ones are, however, more obese, not less so.
Cool story, bro
cool story bro…
tl;dr
Thats a great idea!
Haha yeah I loved that movie. “I don’t wanna be obese!” XD
yeah, and it’s not practicly fail
BOOMER!!
OMG! It’s Larry from Dead Rising!
LOL WIN
Definitely one of your lesser super-heroes.
Erland the Fat, Defender of the McDonalds, Guardian of all things junk food protects you and your beloved birthday cake in his steely stomach
Able to eat small restaurants (out of business) in a single sitting. Faster than a speeding waitress. He is Fat-Man! *insert sound effects as he throws his Fat-arang*
The fact that this picture was on purpose makes it substantially less funny.
STFU
Get out of the internetz!
Yeah Batabii, if you can’t learn to appreciate stupidity, why are you here?
OMNOMNOMNOM
He’s just healthy
Healthy?
I consider you to be healthy (and your very attractive btw),
He is an morbidly obese man, who likes his polos!
Maybe he got a sex change and is now a woman. Formerly obese man, currently obese woman.
Touche…
I always thought that was spelled with a “D”…..oh, wait…..nevermind…..
LOL!
I found a video of the news story this is from.
Rick roll FAIL!!!
What the F@%& was that
yeah, that was an epic rick roll fail, lol… in so many ways im just gonna not bother going into it.
omg that actually looks painful to be him :s
From the Onion movie.
Onion movie.
This shouldn’t be considered funny, somone took a joke and tried to repackage it as something origional and funny. It was great when the Onion did it, but not some loser on the internet.
oh please thats like saying its cool if…kanye? is that waht the kids are into now? anyways if he wears it.
Before…and way before.
BAhaha eaten….
this was from the onion movie. It purposely said that.
this is from the onion movie
whoever posted this is a epic fail
“Nothing moves the Blob!!” Better send in Wolverine on his ass!
This man…. Beat anorexia!!
lulz. he black
Dear lord people, who cares if it was in the onion movie.
Yeah he should have given credit, but that’s not the point. Not everyone watched the onion movie, so they thought it was funny.
Like me.
Are you not aware of bowel movements? The law of conservation of mass states only that no matter can be destroyed and only changed. However this does not mean that you will effectively weigh your body mass + the weight of the object/ person you ate, and most of that mass would be turned into feces. All that being said I agree, getting obese people to eat each other would not be a good idea.
POWER LEVEL 9000!
that’s from the onion movie.congratulations
It’s incredibly black fat man. Not incredibly fat black man.