TWILIGHT
A story about a girl’s choice between Bestiality and Necrophilia
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TWILIGHT
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Unstoppable
FUWRZT!!!
necrophilia owns beastyality .. in real life…
but in this movie.. it doesn’t matter.. if you’ve seen it, YOU’RE GheY!!
PS: THE GAME!!!
unless you’re a girl, then you’re just a low taste fangirl.
I just lost the game.
Btw: EPIC WIN.
Jacob’s so sexy. I want him…!
“Jacob’s so sexy. I want him to fight Edward and have them both die…!”
There, I fixed it for you.
lol.
YAY!
You know his name is Edward…that’s dissapointing unless your sister told you then that’s fine!
But well played by the way!
No. I’m reading the books. Just finished the first one… -_-!! *jumps off a cliff*
He was going to hell anyhow because he read it … so suicide doesn’t make much of a difference now …
Nah, I never believed in hell, even when I was a Christian.
It’s the Satanic Bible of literature. And there’s FOUR of them.
the commercials say it all the time retard
no, jacob isnt sexy. it’s just the guy who plays him. both edward AND jacob can die, as long as taylor lautner is okay…see reality is fun
And his contract says he needs to take off his shirt every 10 minutes.
s**t…
hey, troll it’s spelt “it’s” not “its”
Actually you are correcting his grammar, not spelling there. Just saying.
and you sir, are correcting his stupidity and deserved win+1.
It’s “spelled” not “spelt”…
And it’s “English” not “American.”
damn i went 3 days without losing the game.
necrophilia and beastiality are just wrong:period.
for the love of god, just let this joke die. PLEASE
f**k, i lost the game D:
i dibs necrofilia!
duplicate
i’m pretty sure there is a facebook page on this
But it’s pretty funny anyway, i’m suprised someone didn’t put it on here already. It was only a matter of time
I’ve never heard more accurate description of Twilight.
Yeah. Twilight is basically beastiality, necrophilia, and teen angst teen angst teen angst teen angst teen angst….
Don’t forget Pedophilia.
She’s a minor, and while he hasn’t “aged” he’s still over 100.
PWNED!
And in the books Jacob ‘Imprints’ (Apparenlt mean you REALLY ‘love’) Edward + Bella’s like 2-year-old daughter.
So the story goes like this:
Bella tries to decide if she should shag a 107-year-old virgin corpse or a dog.
Bella chooses virgin corpse and (Somehow) has a child.
Teenage dog decides that Bella’s taken so instead he’ll go for the toddler.
It’s just so obvious why everyone loves it when you stop and think about it.
Actually, it’s worse than that. She’s about ten minutes old when he imprints.
Who refers to her as a drug, among other things.
LOL I actually like Twilight, but I completely agree with this comment. It would seriously creep out any normal person to hear that some guy sneaks into their house in the middle of the night to watch them sleep.
Interestingly, Angel did this to Buffy a number of times (both as Angel and the evil Angelus). But it was done in a way that no-one I know even considered stalking. Joss Whedon > Stephanie Meyer, clearly.
F**K YEAH.
a cookie for you, dear sir.
I didnt realize a drug could have a mental problem…
Heroine: Female form of hero (though Bella? Heroine? Please)
Heroin: Drug.
O.O Has anyone who hates Twilight actually read the books, or have they only seen the movie?
I’ve read the books and seen the movies.
poor you. why’d you subject yourself to such torture?
hmpf! the boks are awesome. it’s just too bad that the movies sux
Have you gone back and read them again? I thought they were good at first, but really they have no substance. I completely agree with this caption.
Oh God! Look what the movie and books have done to you… Can’t even get your spelling right
Notice how the person saying how awesome the books fails at both spelling and grammar. Now I don’t know whether that says something about the people who enjoy this stuff, but it’s an interesting coincidence.
Probably for the same reason I did, so we can mock it all we want and nobody can pull the “You haven’t read the books” card.
There are plenty of masochists in the world, teatime.
you deserve a medal of honor
+1 internets
Why do you hate yourself?
Wow! You’ve got some real balls. Well done.
Were you were imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay or something?
I doubt it really makes a difference whether you read a book about vampires and werewolves, or you see a movie about them.
It’s just easier to joke about a movie because everyone has the same image beforehand.
I read all of the books before deciding fully that I hated them.
I have read them all. 100% crap.
I’ve re-read them 17 times. They are still crap. I’m gearing up for the 18th time now. Silence, please!
I have read every single book and only seen the first movie, and I hate it :/ And the description is made even more accurate by the books.
I got about halfway through the first book before I started asking myself, “What the f*** am I reading…?!”
U did better than me. I got about ten pages in an said f*** it.
Lol you both did even better than me. I saw the cover and went “No not going to happen”.
It’s possible most of them just met some of the fans.
yeah, i have too
whenever i argue with a fan girl
it brings joy to my heart when this happens to me
fan girl: well, have you actually read the book?
me: yes, i have,
fan girl: *silence*
me: feel s**tty don’t you
I HAVE to try that.
Yeah, I always ask these teeny girls, So you think it is ok to give up everything you like, your friends, your interest, for your boyfried? What a strong person you are!
*writes this stuff down*
I’ve read the books. Then I realized how stupid I was for reading them. I’m actually one of those people that hates Twilight from the books, not the movies.
The books are stupid- in the whole series you learn more About Stephanie Meyer’s Daddy issues than you do the characters who are shallow and epic Co Dependant .
I saw the first movie, laughed my ass off, and went for the books. Also hilarious if a little painful.
But the second movie. Holy crap. I was prepared to laugh but the 180 degree coverage of Taylor whatshis face airbrushed torso was really something.
That guy made me want to buy the damn DVD. The story was crap, but it hardly mattered. Hardly mattered. If you could focus on the bad story in the second movie- clearly dudes are not your bag.
yeah i read the books, all 4. and ive seen both movies. the books are fine in my opinion, but the movie is a peice of s**t.
All the books are is Stephanie Meyer writing down all of her issues and sick fantasies and publishing it, so 10 year old girls can read about it too.
I mean, Edward was ignoring Bella ‘cos he loves her and wants to protect her; So THAT’S why the captain of the football team never looked at Stephanie.
Bella is what Stephanie Meyer wants to be. It’s so obvious. I feel sorry for her husband, all she can think about is being whisked away by a sparkley vampire so much that she wrote a book about it.
I haven’t seen the movies but I’ve seen the adverts and small clips on YouTube. The acting makes cringe and laugh at the same time, they take half an hour to say one sentence and EVERYTHING is just so overly dramatic in funny. I did really wanna see the second one though, just to laugh at it. They run through flowers at one point apparently.
I’ve read the books and they’re probably worse than the movies, if it’s at all possible.
It’s asinine to call people out on not having read the source material when they call something crap. Now, it’s easy to fall into the crowd of calling something popular crap without having anything to back it up, but it’s completely absurd to expect someone to have to directly experience-via movie, book, whatever-the original source material if it is known to be crap.
It is not completely absurd to expect that someone who is calling a book or a movie crap has read the source material. Friends opinions, feelings, preconceived notions do not replace direct experience, and let’s face it, ignorance is not an excuse. Never has been, never will be. I took the time to read the books before forming an opinion as I have done with many other books. I did not have to buy the books. I did not have to visit a library to get a copy. Getting my hands on the books was the simplest thing I have ever done they are so popular.
So you stole the books? Good (wo)man!
And yeah, I’m reading them and you’re right. Direct experience doesn’t replace preconcieved notions. Direct experience is WORSE.
The first paragraph made me cringe at the awful writing.
I tried. I honestly did try to read those books. They read like bad fan fiction. I couldn’t bring myself to continue.
After that, I decided not to waste my money on the movie.
LOL, that’s because they ARE bad fan fiction. But yeah, I’m with you. I couldn’t finish either. I was just so….elementary.
Hey! Stop insulting fanfiction!
Snape, The Home Fries Nazi. Sans Merci. Not-Groom Lake. Harry Potter and the Polka Dot Plague. The Familiar. A Nick In Time. The Sheep Chronicles. Learning To Uncurl. The Fourth Year.
Fan fiction that blows the source material out of the water. Do not mock fan fiction. Oh, and On Wednesday.
Go read one or all of these, scoffers. We’ll wait. You can leave your apologies with the authors of these masterpieces.
+1
I’d like to add S’Tar-Kan’s Harry Potter and the Nightmares of Future’s Past to that list.
Oh, and boz4PM’s Don’t Panic (and the sequel, Okay, NOW Panic!).
XD I’ve actually READ better Twilight fanfiction (and yes, I realize that even SAYING that I read Twilight fanfiction is setting myself up for humiliation).
Some (-cough-most-cough-) of said fanfiction IS actually better written than the books…
-Tori~
I tried to read the first one.. only got halfway through before I got bored and stopped. And I was listening to the audio book >_>;;
I read all of the books and saw the first movie… “cruel and unusual” doesn’t quite sum up that ordeal well enough.
Reading them right now. -_- Save me…
Read the books…kinda liked them. Saw the movie…it was dreadful. I wasted $7.50 that night.
Usually I say that the books are better than the movies. But in this instance… e_e
I managed to read the books but I am NOT sitting through that horrible acting.
i read all the books but i didnt see the movies, i kinda know i’d hate em
Some of us got so pissed at the damn Twi-hards fangirling all over the Internets, we found and read three pages of the books before destroying them, going on a rampage, and setting out to counter and defy all future fangirl squeals across the Internets.
While I agree with this, tell me your name doesn’t mean you’re an Eragon fan? *treats those books with the same disdain*
sadly the 1st one is actually 2 hours of your life you will never get back…
I was interested in the Vamp v Wolvs concept when i first hear of the film…
thankfully a friend waved me off… I wisely heeded the advice until late one night I was bored and it came on Cable… it was f’n laughable…
and it has to be the source material, if you’ve seen Kristen Stewarts earlier work, you know she’s capable of acting… yet this tripe made me want to punch kittens
Most of us have better things to do with our lives than read/watch vampire love stories…
Like repeating insults about an insignificant book/movie series.
Like commenting in threads like this?
I’m with you baby, bring on the high life – somebody give me a cheeseburger!
Like responding to a post like this??? ILL TAKE A CHEESEBURGER AS WELL THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
Twilight.
Sucks. Balls.
Aha Ahahahaha. That’s SO original. That one has NEVER been said before. Honestly, the Twilight hate is so old now. Nobody has an original insult/joke about it. Can we all please just move on to something else?
No.
Pwned
No.
No.
Triple no.
Wouldn’t it be quardruple no, with a pwned on the side?
OH OWNED! SUCK IT!
P.S. No.
whatever-comes-after-triple no.
C-C-C-Combo Breaker!!!
Once Stephanie Meyer stops setting herself up for this sort of thing. Which, considering her next book is about ANOTHER mythical creature she probably knows nothing about, isn’t happening any time soon.
What? How many bad-ass creatures does she have to butcher?
lol thats because everything has been said the girls cardboard acting the sparkling vampires the weird pedophilia the werewolf all have every joke possible made
You forget- they aren’t even Werewolves. They’re a f***ed up version of Skinwalkers. WHICH WOULD WTFPWN THESE USELESS FURBAGS OF HER OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
See, this is exactly the reaction that we’re looking for. Why do you think it’s made fun of so much? Because it’s incredibly easy to troll the fangirls, and the reactions are extremely entertaining.
You don’t have to be a fangirl to have the capacity to get sick of the same type of joke several times a week since the first one came out, about two damn years ago.
Thank you, Delta. I really am sick of always being accused of being a fangirl just because I’m over the same jokes being told for two d@mn years. I have no problem with people insulting Twilight and making jokes about it, but when everyone starts repeating each other it gets boring and tiresome. Kind of like when Borat came out and everyone and their mother was quoting it. -.-
Ok, fine, starting now we need to start making jokes in reference to Lloyd Alexander curb stomping Stephenie Meyer, or whatever your cup of tea is.
Andrew Jackson beating Stephanie Meyer to death with his cane.
Theodore Geisel or Bennett Cerf. Either one bashing her alleged brains in would work for me.
Setting zombie Bram Stoker on her…
Screw it. Get Vlad Tepes to see what horrible monster he inspired.
chuck norris roundhouse kicking Stephanie Meyer to the face for wasting such paper and making us lose our girlfriends to this peice of sh@.
Why come up with new insults when the old ones are still true, and can’t be dispelled? As for moving on, that’d be like quitting. Can’t let retarded fangirldom continue unchecked. That’s just un-American.
Ah, good times. *beats up some Legolas fangirls on the way home*
No
lol i always joke with my friends about that
Case in point.
stfu
HIGH FIVE, MAN. :’D
@Samara i read the first book and ddnt like it then i watched the movie and hated it, so yeh i guess there are some twilight haters who read the book
Learn to spell.
Spelling FAIL
Modern usage includes “beastiality.” Similar to how “ain’t” wasn’t a word 20 years ago. Progress FTW. Googling either will net you the same sort of strange.
P.S. The verb “google” is also a recent edition to modern vernacular.
MarcDLS, what was your point there, exactly? o.O
Either way, dask is correct in his/her original reply that the poster is a fail…being that it is spelled “beastality”. So in a way, you also fail Marc.
He fails because he ignores modern vernacular which accepts the spelling “beastiality.”
My point was that language changes and no amount of syntax nazi-ing will dissuade it.
The problem is that people get lazy and start mispelling everywhere.
Misspelling* ;D
XD!
In my defence, I think it was around one in the morning I wrote that…
Nothing. Randomness and uselessness is the point.
Here, have a cookie.
since you’re discussing word usage, the verb google would be a recent addition, not edition.
Also, Google in this sense is a noun, not a verb. Double fail.
No, it’s not a play on words, because “best-” is the root form of “beast” and that is where it comes from.
Misspelling the word as “beastiality” simply shows that you are uneducated; it is not a humorous play on words nor is it a new, hip, modern usage. It is simply the result people being unable to spell.
Quadruple fail to the fifteenth power for being an righteous, but wrong, jerk.
You apparently lack the ability to read and comprehend the english language. Let me do it again for you so you understand better.
“Beastiality” is a play on the word “beast,” which is the what one is humping. That is “beast” being the root of “BEASTiality.”
You get the prized G.C.E. fail for “gross concept error.”
I bet you’re one of the self-righteous douches who like to point out that “irresponsible” isn’t a word also. Got any more witty comeback pot? This kettle sure would like to hear them.
and I was never aware that irresponsible isn’t a word. Who the hell said that?
The redundancy is the point you fool. As for “irresponsible,” that was actually supposed to be “irregardless” which is, likewise, a redundant term that has come into popular usage despite douche bags, like you, who trot around as the self-appointed guardians of proper usage, pointing your finger and looking down your nose at people who don’t kowtow to your sense of what is proper. Eat sh*t and die.
I like this guy, shooting down people left and right lol.
Marc, I really think you missed the fact that the person who originally posted that poster does not have an “i” in “beastiality” after the “beast” part. Thus, misspelling the word. THAT is what Dask pointed out. I really don’t think you have the mental capacity to be able to insult this series…..o.O
I really love when people get called stupid on the internet and then come back with all of their qualifications to show how smart they are. You take the internet THAT seriously? XD And when the hell did I ever say I was a Twi-fan? o.O
Seems I’m not the only one since you still see it fit to reply to me. Go ahead and concede, you can be the bigger person by letting me have the last word or you can debase yourself further by coming down to my level. It’s a lose-lose situation for you sweet cheeks.
:*
Just pointing out that if she has to come down to your level, then isn’t that a lose for you anyway for being there first?
Wow, this is so off-topic. Get back to the Twilight flaming.
So? This is the internet. When were we ever expected to stay on-topic?
I revel in the gutter. If I can bring her down to my level then it is a win for me in a manner of speaking. Knocking her off her high horse. After all, it’s more entertaining getting down in the dirt anyway. We all have fun here.
“Resistance is futile. [Her] distinctiveness will be added to our own.”
Are you also a
Tripe is delicious.
Certification in counterterrorism? HAHAHA ROFLMAO.
how safe are your lines of work? I’m guessing you surmount 45 and a half hazards a day.
It’s “sites.” Not “sights.”
True dat.
I just can’t get the joke necrophilia and child support to work here.
@#)(&$!!!
Should have read:
I just can’t get the joke about necrophilia and child support to work here.
or maybe even:
I just can’t get the joke: necrophilia and child support to work here.
And here come the grammar Nazis…
I haven’t read the books. Mostly because I’m afraid I might actually like them. And then I’d have to give up my man-card.
I had to spend 80 dollars on a sword to get that back after the first time I lost it.
lol i lost it once couldnt open a jar of pickles for a week thankfully i bought a gun and now i can open jars like a champ
Wait…how did you lose it before? And also, who’s the schmuck who gave it back to you, you only get 1 chance with a man card.
My case was already cleared in court, sirrah! I need not disclose with you the reasons I lost my man card to begin with!
…… It’s because I watched the “Spice and Wolf” anime and enjoyed it because of the ROMANCE, not for the rare, occasional bouts of violence when the girl turned into a wolf the size of a house.
screw the man card, Spice and Wolf is awesome. I even bought the DVD only ep 8. xD
The man card is all I’ve got. Plus a sword.And 20 other blades of various size, shape, and sharpness.
So you’re compensating for your lack of masculinity and most likely tiny penis by having lots of blades?
“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” – Sigmund Freud
You are made on Win, good sir.
Merci beaucoup.
Honestly, I just think they’re a safer bet than guns. A gun needs an errant twitch to blow your head off. Takes a freak accident to lop your own head off with a sword.
Plus, they’re part of a piece of humanity that we’re not going to get back (provided we don’t blast ourselves back to the Iron Age). The tales of heroics in old wars (take Thermopylae) are so far above modern day heroics it’s ridiculous. If three hundred guys tried to hold off an army of a million nowadays, they’d all be did in three hours (likely from an airstrike).
And on top of all that, swords are shiny… 8D
Correction, you are made of EPIC Win.
-echoes- <3
Not when somebody dropped it and you picked it up for yours to keep
wrote a paper over this topic in comp 1. made an A
Yay.
They forgot pedoism
Yeah! Thank you! 200 year old vampire wants 17 year old moron girl?! What the hell?? Why doesn’t he want a mature woman like me? The bastard!
Wow. Good age, Megz. Healthy living really works, huh?
“Pedophilia” means that the person is attracted to prepubescent children. The main character is past puberty and, so, that relationship is not pedophilic. I believe Saz is referring to the fact that the wolf-boy falls for the main characters’ baby in the last book of the series. O.O (SM is all kinds of fvcked up…..)
This. Unfortunately…
It’s mormonism
all of it.
Pedophilia is the sexual attraction of an adult to a child, their relative distance from puberty is undefined. Psychosexual disorder is the specific sexual attraction of an adult to a pre-pubescent child.
Either way, I’m sure they all apply at one point or another, because, you’re right, ol’ Steffie is farked in the head.
Actually, pedophilia does specify pre-pubescent per the World Health Organization. The attraction to pubescent individuals is ephebophilia. I did a deal of research on this a few years back. Loads of info on the stuff.
Did you know that children who are “victimized” by such acts typically only react negatively if the society at large condemns it? A strong argument for moral objectivity that few have the gall to make.
DO NOT WANT!!1!!
At this rate, people will stop with Twilight jokes in 2020.
And start with whatever NEW monstrosity Stephanie Meyer churns out.
actually current estimates say 2200 XD
As long as it’s around, there’ll always be jokes about it.
This cracked me up, though it was two days ago that I watched Twilight out of curiousity and boredom.
Way to mushy, way to… grah, can’t even word it but..
Vampires are supposed to burst into flames when touched by sunlight,
they shouldn’t get “sparkly”
Also, when a girl gets invited to a Vampire dinner party, she’s not the guest of honor, she’s the meal!
What’s wrong with those vampires?!
I vote for a remake of these two movies, with two extra characters:
The Original Dracul, and Lestat.
That should be entertaining.
You’re missing an a at the end of Dracula.
In other news, England and France have just declared war to the Grammar Nazis. After blitzkrieging the internet and destroying much needed ”lol’s”, desperate measures were needed.
Never mind the extra U in “curiosity” or the two “too”s that are each missing an O.
I´m sorry that my English isn´t flawless,
it’s not my native language.
I’m sure that you will manage to decipher the meaning behind it despite it.
The original was a Vlad Dracul, his son was Vlad Dracula if I’m remembering my history correctly.
Wait, are you talking real history or the fictional history of Dracula?
that would improve it… but the movie will still suck… you need to remove edward, and the entire cullen family… perhaps have them killed by dracula and lestat… then they kill bella in the final scene… then they go on a rampage and kill the whole town… then it may not suck (other than blood)
don’t forget bella lugosi and nosferatu
Or you could read The Strain. It’s got vampires and doesn’t suck…
Also the names are meant to help with the fear “RUN FOR YOUR LIVES ITS DRACULA!” like that but “oh no it’s Edward” doesn’t really cut it
I actually heard a rumor that they were remake Interview with a Vampire… and that Lestat would be played by Robert Downey Jr.
http://www.thevine.com.au/entertainment/interviews/robert-downey-to-star-in-%27interview-with-the-vampire%27-remake.aspx
Ah, remakes. I love you, Hollywood. -_-
I would run if I heard “Oh no it’s Edward.” I really don’t want to be around that much angst. It makes me want to gag.
By the way, I view Twilight like I view clowns – a necessary evil. It’s what separates the freaks from the FehREEEAAAKKKS!
I have to admit to reading the books. I can’t honestly say I like or dislike them… I do go back and re-read some of it and hate myself for doing it, though.
It’s kind of interesting: the books are like the author made a list of all common women’s hotbuttons and set out to push each and every one.I don’t like my buttons being pushed, and I don’t like knowing/discovering that I even HAD some of them. But… then I go back and read it again. I guess part of me likes having some of the buttons pushed?
Derp
It’s a common problem; how do you think that Tom Clancy keeps selling the same storyline over and over without pushing men’s ‘buttons’?
I mean, I had the same reaction when I discovered that about his books.
to paraphrase the Mentalist… Men are like Toasters, women are like accordians.
The Man Buttons are “Nice tits”, “smooth Alcohol”, and “that blowed up real good” maybe with the rights skill you rearrange adjective and Noun pairs… but its pretty simple pretty Sure Dash Hammet had it down over 70 years ago
Bella: What’s that smell?
Edward: It’s my decaaaay… Don’t you love it?
Bella: …Yes…
IMO the books where only slightly better than an “EPIC FAIL” to begin with, but once the movie came out… the movie actually made all “Epic Fails” look like normal fails. In fact a new fail was created, just to help better illustrate the magnitude of their folley. Introducing… The “OMEGA FAIL”.
I LOST THE GAME? ON A TWILIGHT-RELATED WEBSITE? WHAT THE CRAP!
Dammit I lost!
The choice bewteen a boy wearing body glitter and another boy who will run after the tennis ball you throw for your labrador.
LMAO! *gives you a cookie*
You’d never have to pull the headache excuse though.
“Edward, dear… you’re hair is looking a little flat. I think we’re out of turtle wax, though…” (This is of course provided he’s not already moping in a corner about your forbidden-but-not angst-ridden love).
“Jacob… not, not now… oh, here. *squeakysqueaky* You want it? Go get it!! *squeak*”
I’ve read it, it’s a crappy attempt at a love story by an author who can’t take criticism. I’m a critic so I should know.
This is the internet. EVERYONE is a critic.
100
Amusing. However, not a fan of the overindulgence of making fun of this series and movie. Put downs are too easy and have been overdone.
Why so serious?
ive read the books, and they are ok, must also admit, that i have read them all more then once, and im not sure why … each time i re-read them i wonder why I started again …
hate the movies though, just like with Harry Potter.
i love this pick though, i lol’d hard, as did everyone at work
^.^
I read too much, and like…exploded. After two pages. Just…blam. I had to put myself back together with krazy glue.
*looks at OMG GUEST* … *looks at Twilight* … *slowly nudges Twilight away with my foot*
If only it was……
Well… a man can dream…..
there not werewolves they are “therianthropy” thats just a general term for a man that transforms into an animal. not a lycanthrope
This. I saw the movie trailer for New Moon and thought “Wait, WTH? How can Jacob turn in the middle of the day?!”
ive never read the book nor seen the movies and i wont, to many little girls glittering in their panties over a man that is extremely NOT attractive, im not gay but jesus anyone can see that this man is clearly not attractive.
Yeah. For being so “perfect,” they really should have hired a better looking actor to play Edward.
100% agree… Edward is so ugly … Jacob has his moments too. I normally don’t care what the main characters look like- but when he’s in the plot to be this overly handsome man and fangirls woo him… I’m confused!
It’s the only male actor they could afford and was willing. I mean seriously, how much money could he have possibly gotten from his side role on harry potter?
Twilight isn’t that bad, you all are just haters. Fook You!
I’ve read the first 150 pages. That’s all I needed to know that these books suck. First time I’ve consciously quit a book in my entire life.
Yeeeeeah… no. Twilight’s that bad.
no, fook you, girlfraaaaand *gay wave*
Haters aren’t bad people. In fact, haters aren’t even haters. You just don’t like being disagreed with. Grow up.
I appreciate the fact that you didn’t swear in your post, and I must say, *sarcasm starts* I actually agree with you on the whole Twilight thing. *sarcasm ends* It’s a fantastic comedy. I read two pages from New Moon and stopped because my sides split.
I’ve never seen it, never so much as heard one of these actors speak — but I do know that guy is supposed to be a vampire. And I can’t help noticing that he’s STANDING OUTSIDE IN THE DAYTIME.
And that makes him NOT A VAMPIRE.
Don’t tell me different, I’m old school. Okay, I’m just freaking old.
Honestly! they are just wasting a lot of paper…lots and lots of wasted paper…
Dracula (from the Bram Stoker novel) often went out in the daytime, though his powers weren’t as strong.
True story: SM snagged almost all of the names from a baby book. Bella, Edward, Esme, Alice, Charlie, Jacob, Cullen, were all highlighted as up-and-coming names.
I have, unfortunately, read all of the books and seen both movies. Call me a masochist. They’re absolute dreck and I still don’t know why I wasted hours of my life on them.
Bastard halved my baby name choices! I always loved the names Edward and Isobel but I can’t fathom the thought of people thinking I named my baby after Twilight >.< well… and there are probably gonna be 100 Bellas in her class too.
I’m thinking of Marie, Antoinette, Remi (yes, kind of boyish, but do you see me giving a crap now or in the future? No? Okay, moving on then~), and Charlotte for girls, and Adrien, Nathan, Caleb, and Jonathan for boys. No worries, Amber, there are lots of other names to choose from, along with their variations ^-^
Twilight = female Harry Potter… I guess this is just another tally on the scientific proof that men are superior. In everything. Hmm, who knew.
Wizards > Sensative Vampires
Eww, don’t compare it to Potter. You’ll soil it… *brushes the glitter off Harry’s robes*
If men are so superior, then why can’t this one learn to spell…?
Tori~
Yes, of course, scientific proof of that is everywhere! And it’s totally not biased at all!
ha ha.
I never thought I would ever actually meet a totally sexist person, so, yeah, thanks for that.
Technically, you didn’t meet him, you just read his comment.
It is ALL about jealousy!!! Forbid a woman to b**ch about a “Man” movie but try to get A Real Man to understand the “message” behind the movie/books and they are totally obviously!
*oblivious
Thank you, please try again later.
For the record, I’m perfectly accepting of romance novels and will even read good romance (so cross off most of Mills & Boon
). What I am NOT accepting of is appalling writing quality.
Are you saying that Twilight is romantic?
She thinks he’s pretty and he wants to eat her. How romantic.
Id tap that canine ass!! I think the vampire would prefer if he were plunged with a large hard stake tho….thats wot i heard, im just sayin’! ;o)
…Yes.
Those calling the books bad fanfiction are seriously giving fanfiction a BAD NAME. Stephenie Meyer literally spits in the face of most of the vampire fiction cannon that has been written over the past 30 years or so. It’s horrid. If you’re looking for a sugary-sweet angsty teenage romance then these books are for you. Otherwise, skip it and find something else.
Now, I will say that The Host rates much higher on my list. It’s not a bad sci-fi/psychological book with a romantic twist. Not the best, but not terrible, either.
I saw a bit of Twilight in The Host when I read it… Just saying. However, I do agree that The Host was much better than the Twilight series.
Tori~
…I’m pretty much speechless at the moment. And kind of laughing my ass off at MarcDLS’s “quadruple fail to the fifteenth power.”
Tori~
take that u twilight nerds stop leavin ur window open waiting for edward he aint comin and dont be pissed that ppl agree with the genius who wrote the caption cuz he hits it 100%
You and Stephanie Meyer would get along well, I think. One can’t spell, the other can’t write.
Neither can spell, or write.
lame, i’ve heard this joke thousands of times. It’s not even accurate. :/
Why not? I haven’t even met Jacob yet in the book, but from what I’ve heard, Bella likes both of them. One’s a werewolf, the other’s a fai- pixi- vampire. So why isn’t it accurate?
Thank You. I had to watch that crappy movie with my girlfriend and had to listen to her go “tssssee” every time someone took there shirt off!
Ouch, sorry about that. I wouldn’t do that to my boyfriend for any movie, and definately not Twilight. None of the guys in that movie even look good! The fangirls only obsess over them because they try to tell themselves that they look good because they’re characters are supposed to look abnormally good.
…It’s worse than a badly written fan fiction. Even the worse author on fanfiction realizes at some point that they need some characters who aren’t ‘perfect’ in almost every aspect. I should know, my first fanfiction was filled to the brim with mary-sues. But I was also only in the 5th grade. What’s SM’s excuse?
Alice is cute though.
No one cares.
dammit i just lost that stupid game
Well then, yum…
I choose necrophilia.
I don’t care about the haters.
The way the auther makes each vampire have a special power makes them seem a bit like crappy marvel superheroes.
my thoughts exactly :O
Nice one. And the damn thing is a SPARKLY emo virgin corpse. That’s so messed up, its tarnishing the term “vampire”. Poor Stoker.
—————————-Second Thoughts—————————————
When you notice that a certain word is spelled wrong but realize that you don’t want to admit that you noticed it.
Bella isn’t a heroine, she’s just the main character. The writing is s**tty. I read twilight when it first came out 5 years ago. This is targeted for females, and we all know how females work. All of us want that one deep crazy love that Bella has with Edward. Most likely it doesn’t exist like this though so women fall for it hard because its what they want but since we can’t have it we read a book about it. We push the s**tty writing aside to get involved with the characters. To live vicariously through them because well we’re women and we’re all f***ing nuts. I know you’re guys but suck it up and accept it. We accept that you aren’t like the made up people in these books, that’s why we read them. Yes he sparkles and its lame beyond all reason but its not about that. Yes it started a raging teenage fan base for girls that desperately want to be in love and for women who are in failed marriages that give them a false sense of hope that one day they will find either their Edwards or Jacob. As for me, my boyfriend offered to sprinkle glitter on himself for me and I turned him down.
Yeah, no. I’m fine with romance books. I’m not fine with people calling Twilight average literature or above.
tl;dr
This sums up the crap that is known as Twilight. But you forgot pedophilia.
i hate Justin Beiber!!!!! i hate her!!!!
If you’re going by original vampire rules then it’d be all of the above on the choices if Bella chose Edward(cause vamps turn into bats).
my girlfriend left me because i wasnt like jacob or edward…..
Dude… you’re girlfriend really liked beastiality and necrophilia, I suppose then…
I feel really bad for you.
I saw all the movies so far with my mom and sister, and it was torture. The only good thing out of it was my friend had to see it too with his mom and sister and we got to make fun of every minute of it. The day after I saw the latest movie was awesome because Twilight is such an easy target.
That says it all (or else, click on my name)
For all the people who say they hate Twilight, they obviously cant stop talking about it…
Don’t know if anyone has mentioned it yet, but the abilities of Meyer’s vampires aren’t even original- they are slightly stronger versions of Robert Heinlien artificial people (from the novel Friday).
See, she can’t even get an original corruption of an old character.
Cheers.
People that take the time to make fun of Twilight and the fans have no more of a life than the people they are making fun of for liking it. If it’s so beneath you shouldn’t you be using your time in more constructive ways? Just saying…
I’ll make a deal with you. We’ll stop complaining about it when you stop throwing it in our faces like it’s the next Shakespeare.
Don’t use “you” dude. I’m on neither side. I’m making fun of people on BOTH sides of this “issue”!
“Shouldn’t you be using your time in more constructive ways? Just saying…”
To be honest, I’ve read all the books and seen all the movies. I liked the first book… until I read it the second time. Everything else was just s**t. I was hoping for a fight in the last one… if it had happened maybe everyone would have died and we’d all be happy.
Bwahahaha. So true… That’s why I didn’t see it. The whole concept sounded disgusting.
A most engaging love story of the year is “The Twilight Saga”. Be a part of this Twilight movie now!