MEGA EPIC FAIL
Because you knowing this means you actually read the book
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MEGA EPIC FAIL
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the original poster was funnier.
And I’d say “FIRST!” but then I would have to kill myself.
SUPER MEGA EPIC FAIL
because knowing he read the book means you read the book
Exactly.
Beat me to it.
FATALITY!
Yes. But reading the book/seeing the movie is not a fail. LIKING them is a major fail and an indication of extreme poor taste, but a person might have read the first book thinking ‘cool, vampires!’ and upon reading thought ‘WTF is up with the sparkly f****ts being passed off as vampires?’
agreed. You have no right to make fun of it unless you’ve read at least the first book.
Libraries. The ultimate resource for critiquing without also supporting the author. Also forgotten thanks to Borders and Barnes and Noble
. Fail if you paid in order to learn of Twilight’s suck.
Exactly!
This applies doubly with Harry Potter.
Agreed. I actually did read the first book. It alone didn’t suck all that much, but I certainly wasn’t inspired to read the others. From all that I have heard from my female acquaintances (some of whom obsess over them and were therefore disowned as acquaintances) the sequels truly did suck.
Honestly, the first book would have been decent (not great, mind, but decent) if the vampire didn’t sparkle and were rather less sexy. A girl falling for a vampire even though he wants to suck her blood and even though he isn’t very physically attractive is a much better premise than a girl falling for a vampire, even though he wants to suck her blood, because he is beautiful beyond the lot of mortals (which the actor isn’t, by the way). As it is, the book was mediocre but not terrible. The only reason to hate it (which I do, by the way) is how horrendously overrated it is.
So I read the first book, and I have the right to make fun of Twilight. But I don’t. I make fun of the fans. Because they deserve it more than the book does.
Now go read Dracula – vampires as they were meant to be: evil and awesome.
1. Dracula doesn’t die in the sun. He actually goes out into town to find some cuddy. +50 to Vlad
2. Vampires ARE evil in Meyer’s little universe. A very small portion of them actually abstain from Human blood. Were going to say the “hemovores” are evil because they choose to kill humans instead of alternatives. Not that I have a problem with being your own person. Hey to each his own
3. It’s obvious you are a male (or a partial female who feels the need to emphasize her female acquaintances; hey, like I said at the end of #2) and you obviously didn’t like it. Go figure, now tell me you didn’t like the Sisterhood of the Traveling pants, and that the sky reflects all light but blue light and we can rabble on and on about other obvious shit.
4. Do you want people to make the same vampire stories, with the same origin stories, with the same complexes and abilities for more morons to mindlessly state how much they hate them? Please; Stephanie gets +20 for originality
5. Vampires have always been incredibly attractive to humans, that part of they reason they were always so good at hunting us. Duh. Couple that with the charm and charisma epitomized by Vlad in Stoker’s masterpiece, you have deadly bastard. (and guys and girls know that Pattinson isn’t the peak of human attractiveness, girls ogle over the fictional character and his personality more than the physical actor[on a side note, look how different all the characters look when they don't have the marshmallow makeup on especially Ahsley Greene and Nikki Reed])
6. Not sure which New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn you read, but they get progressively better than the 1st. Twilight was really hard to read and watch. Again. The targeted demographic was not young males who like being manly. Also you and other, less well spoken and ignorant morons should stop comparing. Expectations and comparisons ruin perception when it comes to art. I doubt Stephanie was trying to compete in the ranks of Stoker, Shelly and Pekearo. But I do respect that someone takes the time to educate themselves of the things they critique
what’s the difference between overrated and popularity on a viral scale?
This.
I think a while back I explained that no one can cover all of the vampire mythology. Half of it contradicts another part. For example one mythology is vampire is a disease a living people get. Another mythology says it is magic reanimating corpses. Both cannot be true. It is also true the four defining vampire traits are attractiveness/an aura that causes intense sexual arousal to anyone nearby, massive sexual appetite, desiring to drink blood and immortality. I’m sure I could have worded the the first one better, but… all other traits are 100% relative to each author. Other traits may be popular, but are not key to defining a vampire.
So, let me get this straight. I’m a girl who likes gaming, rock music, skating etc. But that all doesn’t matter, because I like twilight, which makes me a stereotype fan girl?
thanks a lot >.>
You just are tolerant of what is light vampire blasphemy. That is where the guy has his beef with you; personally, I’ve have my beef with you at a table.
It’s like discrimination D:
And people say all Twilighters are idiots, but that’s not true. I’ve gotten perfect grades for as long as I could.
So did my sister, doesn’t make her the brightest crayon in the box though either. Being one of the most brilliant people I know knowledge wise she likes and does some pretty stupid stuff.
I think it depends on the level of liking it.
If you like them, noticing the level of suck/purple writing and ignoring it, you’re not necessarily terrible.
If you love the absolute bejeezus out of them, considering them the greatest books in existence and thinking they’re beautifully written with incredible vocab and amazing and original plot with interesting, not annoying characters, then we’ve got a problem.
I could have overlooked the whole ‘sparkly’ thing and still sort of enjoyed the books if only the characters were deeper than cardboard cutouts. That’s what completely ruined it for me; all of the characters were boring stereotypes with absolutely no flaws or development (also the main plot was laughably overdone and Bella was completely insufferable as a protagonist).
0wned *high fives skylord*
no it doesn’t
…or perhaps just happen to have been a teacher of fifteen students who though the book was the “most awesome thing ever” and had to put up with them commenting on every detail of the book ad nauseum. More important than his age is the fact that apparently at the start of the series, the girl is not even of age yet… making him a 107 year old pedophile.
We have a winner!
me three
)…just wanted to recaption it with this message
i didn’t realize this until i read your comment
:boom:
Exactly…
FAIL right back at ya.
How do you know he has read the book, instead of the watched the movie?
because it wasnt in the movie.
but wait. does that make ME an even bigger fail for knowing that???
Either way its a fail cus the movies are as gay as the books. i knw this cus im apart of the unfortunate few that hav siblings who like that stupid series.
right……..¬¬
“unfortunate few”? “few”? what do you mean few?
This entire series is an epidemic that is approaching the severity of the black plague(and don’t you dare say too soon)
read the book… watched the movie, both are equally as Fail.
so you read the book, which according to you was an epic fail but you still decided to watch the movie?
you sir are the fail here…
Stop bringing up this stupid movie/book series. It’s a load of crap, we get it, shut the hell up.
Triple epic fail? Because knowing that doesn’t mean jack squat. *I* knew it, and I’ve never cracked the cover of one of those books. I just happen to pay attention to what’s going on in the culture around me.
I think it would be super mega epic fail, ’cause “triple epic” sounds a lot less epic than “mega epic.”
Giga epic.
How about we just never use the word ‘Epic’ at all, because its an insult to the English language that we should misuse these words.
Must be hard having people around you talk about this all the time..
And I though it was bad being surrounded by Big Brother Fans, lol
Fail on you for CARING about this topic. Find a better group… and cut off the heads of the people you are hanging around…
I don’t care. And it’s not my friends talking about it; I visit a forum modded by Cleolinda Jones, one of the more prominent Twilight snarkers, and it’s just stuff you pick up through the jokes that get tossed around. Being aware of what’s going on in popular culture doesn’t mean you care for it.
Yeah I knew that too because before the first movie came out, I read the brief plot summaries on wikipedia for all the books to see if it would be worth seeing. How do you know something is retarded without knowing something about it?
He doesn’t know crap! Edward is a 107, and he turned 108 in the books.
Majorly Mega epic fail… Because if your right and the first one was correct must mean that you also have read the book.
ALREADY SAID THAT. THANK FOR TRYING
someone else said it before u
no. i was… wait, i said if he know that than he read it. so ya, same thing. i said it first
Kind of dumb, just because I know the basic story from hundreds of people complaining about it doesn’t mean i read the book.
This.
Also, if you’ve read the book, you know your enemy better. How is that a fail…
Well… it could be a fail that your existence is so miserable you find harmless, yet annoying fads to demonize and fight against; rather than fighting against something serious like Alzheimer’s, PETA (PuppyEatingTimeAssociation) or communism.
I thought PETA stood for ‘People Eating Tasty Animals.’
Peta stands for whatever you want. I think eating puppies is a heinous crime, so for me I made it stand for ‘Puppy Eating Time Ass.’, but you can do whatever.
Ooo lookie. I’m smart and clever cuz I can make the same Twilight joke that millions of others have made.
Ooo lookie. I’m smart and clever cuz I can point out the obvious like a total smartA, even though nobody gives a care in the real world.
How is reading a twilight book more fail that 100 year old virgin? I would rather read the series 100 times than go 100 years without sex.
Amen to that.
They are just hating because they are still virgins and think they may remain virgins for the next hundred years, and they are not virgins by choice.
107. He’s 107 year old virgin.
No one cares. At all.
THANK YOU FOR CARING! I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO FRICKIN REPLY!
COLOSSAL EPIC FAIL
because you knew it wasn’t in the movies
wow! mix that with my super mega epic fail logic that he new he read the book, so he must have read the book, and he read the book AND saw the movie
Nice logic there.
as i have nothing clever or worthwhile to say that would add to the flow of this conversation, i must say…. FIRST!!! and C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!
The smartest s**t i ever heard XD
THIS
IS TRULY STUPID
(you forgot to finish it)
no. he meant to do this…..
THIS…
IS….
SPARTA!!!!!
the biggest fail is actually paying so much attention to this movie/book (or whatever) and investing so much energy criticizing the kids who like ‘em. why do you care?
these posts are quite boring…
Own. I, I can’t help it… YOU WIN THE 5th LORD OF TROPHIES
Mega epic fail should only be used on spessial occasions… Like the book itself!
There is a legitimate reason to read the books, and that is so that you can write a parody of them.
You have won 5 internets.
Or use them as an example of really bad writing. or as a list of “don’ts” when it comes to how you should write a good story.
tereglith just won the lord of trophies(given only once before)
The commercial for the burger king promo says he’s a 200 yo virgin.
I haven’t read the books and I knew this. People make jokes about his age, that’s how I knew.
See the End i am waiting for http://cheezburger.com/benjasosa/lolz/View/3731610112
I can bet you the 40 people that disliked this are twilight fans.
LOL, I hate the book and I love this joke, never gets old.
Naw, I just thumbs-downed it because that’s a dumbass assumption to make. I knew he was a hundred-year-old virgin and I’ve never read the books. (Although that is hardly the most fail-y thing I know about them.)
the original poster was awesome. the creator of this one is aboard the fail boat
(@ Skylord) That’s kind of like saying ‘Your end of the Failboat is sinking.’
A hundred year old vampire dating a teenage girl. Didn’t anyone realize how creepy that is when they wrote the book?
Dude. A part of the story is about how he watches her sleep before they even start actually talking to each other.
So no, the author did not realize how creepy ANY of this was. She thought it was romantic.
That makes me wonder what she does to people she finds attractive…. That’s a thought best not answered.
I like to think it’s like the movie Misery. Give them a place to stay, then never let them leave and break their ankles with a sledgehammer if they try to.
Personally, I just guessed that he was a 100 year old virgin by his pic and the fact that he’s a pseudo vampire… maybe that’s what he did.
So why is keeping virginity until marriage a bad thing?
It isn’t, just going 100 years without finding someone you want to marry and not being promiscuous is. In all logic he would have found another human and married her, then when she dies he finds Bella and when she dies, he finds the next girl he is going to marry and do for 70 years; and the cycle never ends until he turns one of them or dies.
The fail is not being able to find anyone you remotely want to marry in 100 years time.
Wait a minute…did it actually SAY whether or not he was a virgin in the movies or books? Jus wondrin’.
And in the song ‘Baby’ by Justin Beiber, does Justin actually SAY what gender his ‘baby’ is/was?
Jus wondrin’.
I personally don’t know; I didn’t read the books and I was too busy looking for the jabs at Ed’s sexuality and bad acting in the movie. My favorite part was Ed having a ‘stroke’ in Anatomy class.
before i start bang ANYBODY I would rather be a virgin for 100years too…
I learned at a very young age (through whining about dinner) that you can’t say you hate something unless you’ve tried it.
For example, I can say I hate squid… because I’ve eaten it. I barf at the very idea of High School Musical… because I watched it. I can say I don’t like the Twilight Series because I’ve read most of it (although, admittedly, I did like the first one). I can say I HATE the Twilight movies because my sisters made me watch it with them.
You can’t truly despise or bag on ANYTHING unless you’ve tried it. So, second caption fail.
grandma stop using the computer!!!
i agree with MMC. i only hate the movies because l saw them
^MissMary has it right.
internet not everyone know it even people which upload pics
lol guys, Twilight: they see me demotivatin, they hatin!
He could also have seen the parody of the movie series: Vampires Suck.
I SO want to see Vampires Suck! It looks awesome!
all of you twilight hating computer geeks. those guys may have made a stupid movie but they have what you all dream about. You look at pictures they do the pictures and the people in the pictures.
^um, zee – what?^
But seriously, I’d say the bigger fail would be hating on the series without having picked up a book or seen at least some of the movie. Otherwise, you’re just hating on it because that’s what everyone else is doing, which is pathetic. Yes, I think they’re terrible, but I made it through two of the books before deciding there was no chance they’d get any better. Make up your own minds, people.
…did you take your medicine this morning, Zee?
Twilight, making necrophilia acceptable again.
My mom got the movie on Netflix to see if it’s as good or bad as people say. It says his age in the description on the envelope. So… You don’t have to read the book to know it.
who cares if you read the f***in book… at lest you seen the movie
Seriously, dude? You honestly think it’s possible to avoid picking up these things without having to read the book with how widespread the craze is? ( In the US, that is )
I agree with Tyggs. Because *SOME* f***tards won’t Fing SHUT UP ABOUT IT. Thank God I’m going to a private school where the Twitards haven’t invaded yet. Otherwise, there would have been a major shoot out at my old public school.
Knowing that means he/she has internet. That’s all. Without ever seeing the movies OR reading the books I can pretty much tell you everything about that damn series thanks to it being all over the place. Including Very Demotivational.
hes a 109 year old virgin. he became a vampire in 1918, and he was 17 at the time. so he became 100 years old in 2001.
You fail for knowing this.
I read it and have seen all of the movies. It’s nothing special, just a poor woman trying to be ‘new’ and ‘creative’.
I like making fun of the books, only because it’s funny seeing the fangirl’s reactions. People care too much.
stupid, he could have just watched the movie to know this!
Actually, Edward was 104 when Twilight came out.
*I* know that because *I* read the book. The noob who said 100 probably just heard it from a friend. L2READTWILIGHT, NOOB!!!!!1!11eleven!!!1
Bleh! is all I have to say to it.
Y’all are missing something here…
He will always be a virgin. And no, I haven’t read the book, I couldn’t take more than half of the first chapter, but let’s use some logic here…yeah yeah, I know…logic and Twilight. But this is fun with the Twilight fans.
Let’s consider:
1) He’s a vampire.
2) Vampires are dead.
3) Vampires have no heartbeat
4) No heartbeat means no circulation.
5) No circulation means blood doesn’t flow to *any* area.
6) No blood flow = no erection.
I don’t know about Bella, but I would have lost interest there if I’d had any interest to begin with.
Yup. Eternal virgin.
Side note: I’m guessing there’s about one week out of the month when Bella does not get within 100 miles of him? Think about it.
2. Only in some universes. In many mythologies vampires are living people, the whole dead thing began being added as people became more superstitious of the undead. Some choose to make their vampires dead, some choose to have them alive.
3, 4, 5, 6. That only applies to the dead vampires. I don’t know if she chose to have him be a dead vampire or not, if he is dead you have a point If she chose to use the living vampire approach, he can bleed and get erections.
http://cheezburger.com/AntB/lolz/View/3830795008
Basically #4 but in poster form lol (didn’t read comments before I made it)
….ONE HUNDREDTH!! *gets shot*
EPIC MEGA SUPER FAIL: Because in order to know that you have to read the book in order to know this, you must have read the book!!!! HIDDEN TRUTH!!!
know i know -__- and the more you know ….
SUPER MEGA FAIL.
Neither of them read the book. He’s a 107.
Knowing the 100 year old sparkling virgin vampire is not down to reading the book.
It is a common knowledge of teh interwebz.
ftw.
Is somebody aware of the movie ”Vampires Suck” who is, according to the TV trailer, a way to make fun of Twilight (somebody who transforms into a shaved chihuahua, a band of vampires who have been confused as the Black Eyed Peas…) will be in theaters August 18 (I think?)? Also, according to the poster, they will make some Lady Gaga references.
I read it so I could make fun of it.
he’s 109
The Internet: Providing people with information on things they haven’t read/seen/heard for years.
To know this, either you have to read the book or have a girlfriend that is a Twillight nerd. (Yes, I’m of the second kind. And yes, I’m screwed)
Think of this though if he dosen’t have blood running through hid body the how the bloody hell does he get a BONER AND HAVE A CHILD??????
Ever thought about that twilight twits?????, huh, huh, that’s right didn’t think so.
also i was forced to read the books by my girlfriend, they suck serious d**k.
DOMINATOR has it right…vamps are dead, so they have no blood going through their bodies because their hearts aren’t beating. That’s something the author just glosses over.
I, stupidly, read all four books, and they got worse with each one. Never again. I can’t wait until this sparkly vamp phase is over.
“Buffy staked Edward. The end.”
I actually have far more respect for Twilight fans than people who complain about it without having read it.
I hate it for the writing.
The second joke isn’t always true. I never read the book, never saw the movie, but I still know he was 117 because my ex girlfriend would stfu about it for 3 straight months, despite the fact that I made perfectly clear that I didn’t give a damn.
ULTRA MEGA EPIC FAIL
Because you are trolling and hating a book that you didn’t even read
http://cheezburger.com/View/5817411072
What about his bathing habits? So pretty much if I stopped showering, I could prey on millions of underage girls and geeky to adorably dorky, legal, girls? As tempting an offer as that is, I’ll keep showering everyday; cause I guess I’m a narcissist and how I like my hair to feel is more important than what girls want.
i said first before mark