
SEX
off the table in 3, 2…
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SORE THROATit could be a shaft infection

PERFECT HEADSHOT
when you’re punched so hard it rearranges your ears.

HONEY,
don’t you think it’s time to lose some weight? … Honey?

WHEN YOU FAIL SO BAD,
the universe decides to murder you.
Submitted by: Unknown

THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU
usually really, really hurts